The Most Boring Book Ever Written (a choose-your-own-adventure)

Coming (probably) in March.  Maybe (more likely) April.  Or maybe (quite likely) later.  Or maybe (probably) earlier.  We’ll keep you on your toes (feet) with this one.

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Free Mr. Sturlubok

The Redemption of Mr. Sturlubok is free at Amazon.com (and all other Amazon sites) for today (December 26th).  Download it and never read it.  Consume for no purpose.  These are things we can do in these modern times.

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Whatley Tupper is Free on Thursday

Very appropriate title.  The Adventures of Whatley Tupper will be free at Amazon on this Thursday (December 15th) only.   I think I might do a number of one-day free sales over the next few months as I (and many thousands of other authors) experiment with this new KDP Select program at Amazon.

http://www.amazon.com/Adventures-Whatley-Tupper-Choose-ebook/dp/B00408ASO6

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A Dream Don’t Cost a Thing (again)

A Dream Apart is free at Amazon.com until midnight tonight (Sunday, December 11th).  It’s part of the new KDP Select program that Amazon is offering authors, so I’m seeing how that works.  Lots of free books right now.

Here’s mine:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006FRAUZW

 

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A Dream Apart — Released today!

Well, it’s been released and it can be purchased from Amazon.com (currently for 99 cents) here:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B006FRAUZW

If you previously ‘purchased’ the free pre-release version through Smashwords, you can now download the final version just as freely.

 

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A Dream Aparts

My A Dream Apart should be released by the end of the month–that’s my hope.  If not, a week or so later.  But, I’ve discovered that I’m not the first person to use that title.   So, to give complete credit to those who before me…

All I know is that it’s a paperback from 1981 and it was written by Lesley Egan.  There’s no description, although the cover with both a cat and a pair of scissors perhaps implies something nasty.  Or maybe that’s just me.

The image is small, but it sure looks sultry.  Originally published in 1995, here’s the blurb from Amazon: “Refusing to believe stories that credit her with being a descendant of a mystical race, Molly Sheridan meets mythology professor Matthew Redtree and finds her dreams transporting her to another time. Original.”

And last but not least…

And this is not a book, but a bootleg live recording of Paul McCartney from 1992 of a concert from 1990.  Not sure why it’s called “A Dream Apart”.

So in summary, something about a cat and scissors, a romance novel, and a Beatle.  I feel like I’m in good company.

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A Dream Don’t Cost a Thing

So, A Dream Apart is about 94.2% percent done.  Everything is still on track for it to be formally released in about a month or so, but until then, I thought–what the hell–I’ll put the 94.2% version out on Smashwords for free until it’s 100% complete.  No coupons required.  Follow the link below and download it a hundred times.  Just don’t get too riled up by the occasional typo still lurking around.

 

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/89281

 

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A Dream Apart

The finishing touches are being applied to my new novel.  I’m applying caulking along the corners of the counters, installing the baseboards, painting the trim, fussing with the landscaping, sweeping out rooms, applying a few more coats of paint, and checking all the light switches.  Do they all work?  It should be out in November at some point.  If you want it for free, I will include a link to the Smashwords version in the coming weeks here when it becomes available.

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Elliot Bergeron

Elliot Bergeron has just graduated from university and is falling in love with a young woman.  Elliot Bergeron is a disheartened thirty year-old elementary school teacher counting down the years to his pension.  Elliot Bergeron’s life is wide open.  Elliot Bergeron’s life is sealed shut.  Elliot Bergeron has dreams of his future.  Elliot Bergeron has dreams of his past.  Elliot Bergeron is living two parts of his own life at the same time and doesn’t know who he is, what he controls, who he loves, what will happen next, or what happened before.

http://kerkhoven.wordpress.com/a-dream-apart/

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Happy Birthday, Whatley Tupper

It’s been exactly a year since I clicked the “publish” button on the Amazon KDP site.  Not the most climactic way to have something released, but it was still an exciting day for me.

It’s been a good year.  I didn’t know what to expect, and so perhaps that meant my expectations were low, but things have come together pretty well.  No, I haven’t had any bestsellers, Whatley Tupper didn’t go viral, I haven’t retired to focus on my writing.  But that doesn’t meant hat things haven’t gone well.  Whatley Tupper was a book that Daniel and I knew was weird and funny and yet it sat, collecting dust as they say, for several years.  With the current publishing climate, I don’t think The Adventures of Whatley Tupper would have ever been released in the traditional manner.   And now it’s out, almost 12 000 copies floating around in the various Kindles around the world.  Of course, the vast majority of those copies were downloaded for free during a five day stretch in June and I’m sure most of those haven’t even been opened–but compared to sitting in a box under my bed just a year ago, 12 000 is pretty impressive, at least I think so.

It’s been a while since I released a sales graph, and so there is it.  That one five-day spike really screws with the vertical scale and smooths out all the many jagged slopes on either side, but it sure shows how dramatic the effect of a free book is.  The Year We Finally Solved Everything is still free after more than two months (although I don’t know why) and while it’s always been a much less marketable book, it’s actually my most downloaded book.  Until publishing using KDP, The Year We Finally Solved Everything was, at best, destined to be published by some small Canadian press, most of which only release a couple of thousand copies and offer small, $500 – $1000 advances.   I don’t care about the money, so I’m fine with it remaining free.  As far as I know, it will remain free for years.  Amazon works in mysterious ways.

It’s been a great year although I know I could have done a lot more to promote my books.  I find it difficult to get into the social media game.  I just don’t really enjoy facebook or chatting on online forums or tweeting my thoughts.  I don’t even like talking on the phone.   Kindle Boards has been great to ask questions and learn of new developments, but I’m not interested in spending much time on these places each day–this is not a slight to anyone on these places, it’s just not me.  I just can’t do it–I’d rather spend my time writing or editing or planning.  Which means that I’m cutting myself off from a lot of potentially influential people.  I know.  And I used to care more about this.  And maybe I’ll care more about this in the future.   Yeah, receiving royalty cheques is always cool, but that’s not been the best part.  Until a year ago, I’d been writing for more than a decade with having anything published.  There were several close calls, a few broken promises, and even a scam, but nothing in the end published.  That has a way of diminishing a man’s desire to write, of his inspiration.  But in these last months I’ve been writing more than I have in ten years.  I have more ideas than time to get them down.  If anything, I have to keep myself from clicking that ‘publish’ button too soon, without taking the time to make sure that I’m releasing my best work.   A year ago I became liberated and I’m still relishing my new-found freedom.  It’s all up to me.  That is the greatest feeling.  I always loved writing, but now I have more of a reason to write.  Because I can put it out there.  And someone might read it.  And someone might love it.  And someone might hate it.  And someone might shrug indifferently towards it.  But it’s out there.  It’s not sitting in a box under my bed.

Happy Birthday…

 

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